(Originally posted 18-Nov-2019)
I’m not sorry.
I left my comfort zone to try and be more social. It was a catastrophe.
I went back to inviting people to join me in doing stuff I thought most people would enjoy. That met with weak response.
Made some plans. Got excited about it. Other things happened.
I’m not going to be the person you hang out with if your other shit falls through.
So, I withdrew.
I unfollowed a lot of people.
Some people didn’t notice. Or they did.
Some people made plans with me, and kept them.
Others checked in when they saw I was over here like Hey I Don’t Actually Want To Spend Every Minute Alone.
Some people didn’t.
My Facebook feed is full of — I thought we were friends, but I guess we’re not anymore. I don’t know who is talking about who. I don’t care. I’ve never been into girl drama.
If you’re an emotionally sensitive person, you’re going to feel some kind of way about other emotionally sensitive people, and maybe even want to be friends, but I’m telling you what — you need an unbothered, easy-going, low key “constant” or you’re just going to keep bouncing off each others’ energies.
And because I KNOW I’m stupid sensitive, I’m not going to keep trying to make plans with people like me. Bothers me too much when they bail. I’m thinking about the qualities of friends I have had for years and years. They’re not like me. I’m the crazy friend; there’s no contest. We have stuff in common and have fun together, but they handle my inconsistencies well.