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borderline butterfly

emerge when ready

Author: borderlinebutterfly

Severed.

On February 27, 2021 By borderlinebutterflyIn Uncategorized1 Comment

You can't hurt me with what isn't the truth. I will fear no evil.

Golden.

On January 25, 2021January 25, 2021 By borderlinebutterflyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Everyone needs to have a love like this at least once in their lives—a “forever” love—the kind where you can totally see yourselves as old farts chasing each other around the nursing home with your canes and walkers or wheelchairs.

Lighter.

On December 3, 2020 By borderlinebutterflyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I was invited to visit Frank yesterday. And I did. Frank is a sweet old man. He seems to have changed little, except...

Healing.

On November 15, 2020 By borderlinebutterflyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

I'm healing. I'm not healed. I may never be healed. But the process of healing is improving me.

Abuse.

On November 1, 2020November 1, 2020 By borderlinebutterflyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Our youngest did not learn until she was nineteen that my ex was abusive. And that is darkly one of my proudest achievements.

Good.

On October 21, 2020November 15, 2020 By borderlinebutterflyIn incompleteLeave a comment

Am I a good person? I can say nice things and do good deeds, but am I a nice person? Are my thoughts nice?

Estranged.

On September 30, 2020December 3, 2020 By borderlinebutterflyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

For some time in early 2013, the only way I could contact my son Stuart was through his paternal grandmother, Donna. He'd gone to visit her for a day or two on numerous occasions. When he'd left home in October 2012, I never imagined he would not return.

Re-release.

On September 30, 2020September 30, 2020 By borderlinebutterflyIn UncategorizedLeave a comment

Don’t tell me you’re praying for me while you’re putting me through Hell. You don’t know me at all. You know a ghost. The person you accuse me of being is a figment of your imagination, nothing more.

Release.

On September 29, 2020September 29, 2020 By borderlinebutterflyIn Uncategorized1 Comment

I began responding to a volatile telephone call in a letter. The letter soon became more of a release of pent-up anxiety and anger. I didn't mail this letter. I did show it to my therapist.

Review.

On September 29, 2020November 19, 2020 By borderlinebutterflyIn incomplete1 Comment

Going through old writings, and it's tough. I should have fought harder. I just didn't — couldn't — believe, it would get so bad.

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Older posts

Who’s Who.

I’m Nicole. This is my story.

I was hospitalized after a suicide attempt in 2000, diagnosed with borderline personality disorder and adult ADHD in 2001, and PTSD in 2013.

Tyrone is my late ex-husband.  We were married from 1993 to 2001. He died from depression in 2007.

Donna is his mother. Frank is his father. He has one brother.

Stuart and Coraline are mine with Tyrone. They were born in 1995 and 1997.

Westley is my husband now. We married in 2006. We first dated in high school.

Rebecca is his/our oldest. She was born in 1993. She lived with us for a few years as a teen.

Stuart chose to become estranged in 2012, and moved in with Donna and Frank his senior year of high school. He has not spoken to me since 2013, and has very limited contact with other family members, by his choice.

Nicole.

Recent Posts

  • Severed.
  • Golden.
  • Lighter.
  • Healing.
  • Abuse.
  • Good.
  • Estranged.
  • Re-release.
  • Release.
  • Review.
  • Twenty.
  • Inspire.
  • Becoming.
  • Disappoint.
  • Gaslighting.
  • Detached.
  • Withdrawn.
  • Bittersweet.
  • Identity.
  • Fugue.
  • Mirrors.
  • Picky.
  • Hate.
  • Fragmented.
  • Kidnapped.
  • Death.
  • Diagnosis.
  • Alienation.
  • Hopeless.
  • Wrongness.
  • Moments.
  • Invisible.
  • Sensitive.
  • Collapse.
  • Storytelling.
  • Learning.
  • Nine.
  • Eight.
  • Seven.
  • Six.
  • Five.
  • Four.
  • Three.
  • Two.
  • One.
  • Symptoms.
  • Escape.
  • Lucky.
  • Bursts.
  • Hindsight.
February 2021
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