As someone who lost my dad young, I didn’t want anything to take away from their opportunity to know and respect their father as an individual, not as my ex.
I never told my parents. I was embarrassed. I blamed myself for unlocking the door. And if they believed me, they wouldn’t have let me stay at home alone after school anymore.
I consider everything up to the moment I moved out my “first life” and don’t visit there often. Maybe it is time to write my memoirs of that past life.
I know it's my disorder saying “no one really likes you” but it's hard to argue with that inner voice when you spend much of your non-working, non-sleeping hours alone, despite reaching out for companionship.
I left my comfort zone to try and be more social. It was a catastrophe.
In the new life, the girl who was assaulted and abused is a memory. I'm not her. But she is me.
Back in 2001 my divorce attorney was telling me I had a story that needed to be shared. But I wasn't ready.
The worst part is when I don't recognize my own words, or don't recall typing them out or writing them down. At all.
Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality. One symptom of borderline personality disorder.
Explosive anger. One symptom of borderline personality disorder.