It wasn't until my September 2000 suicide attempt that I learned about gaslighting. Until my hospitalization, my therapy was observed and critiqued by my abusers.
"I want to die, and God won't let me." Those were the first words I was able to send across Instant Messenger after an attempt to decongest myself to death.
I consider everything up to the moment I moved out my “first life” and don’t visit there often. Maybe it is time to write my memoirs of that past life.
My first day of recovery was The Day I Didn't Die. This year I'm celebrating 20 years of a new life.